Driving in Nigeria

Finally, the post you’ve all been waiting for. What is it like to drive in Nigeria? Well I can’t speak for Nigeria as a whole, as I am sure that Lagos is its own unique experience, but driving in Enugu is . . . well . . . every time I get behind the wheel I can be fairly certain that I will experience an adrenaline rush at some point, if not at multiple points during the trip. At least my first few experiences have yielded that result. I assume that this uneasiness will decrease over time.

First, there are the roads. They’ve got some killer potholes here. I mean deadly. You could lose a wheel casing in some of them. Then there are the two foot drops for gutters instead of curbs. You’re driving along at 30 or 40 kph and suddenly you have to slow down to a bare crawl because there is a crack in the pavement two feet long the full width of the road. Same thing on the highways.

Then there are the road rules. There aren’t many. Maybe two. The first rule of the road is the biggest vehicle wins. You just nudge forward when you want to go and if you have the bigger car, they will usually let you in. If you have a smaller car, you wait longer. The second rule of the road is when you see someone directing traffic, you need to do what they say. Especially if they are carrying a weapon. I haven’t tested what happens if you don’t. I don’t think I want to. Bro. McLean said they get really angry if you don’t heed their direction. Their hand signal for “come” is palm down, fingers waving, instead of palm up.

I didn’t include the part about the police. There are a couple places where I see police officers all the time pulling people over. One place, right by the Ebeano Tunnel, they’re usually making sure motorcyclists are wearing helmets. Another place, I don’t know what they’re doing. I think I saw them pull over a junker. Maybe some kind of minimum requirements for vehicles to be roadworthy? And, of course, I have gotten pulled over once already. I am so glad that Eno was with me! All they were checking was to make sure I was in compliance with the “fire extinguisher in the car” law.

I also didn’t include the part about watching for pedestrians, motorcyclists, and oncoming traffic in the lane that would otherwise seem to be a one way. You have to have about three pair of eyes in order to drive here. I almost had my first accident when a taxicab was running in reverse right in front of me. I was planning to turn right, so I was looking left. I started to pull forward and almost run smack into this taxi. Thank God for saving me from that one! There have probably been half a dozen or so such “near misses” in my brief tenure here to date.

Did I mention the motorcyclists? Insanity, pure and simple. They ride so close to your car they can reach out and touch your car. They pass you on the right and on the left. You pass them. Everyone changes lanes with reckless abandon. You “courtesy honk” if you are concerned someone may not see you, to let someone know you are coming up fast on their left or right, to let someone know that you aren’t slowing down to let them in, or even sometimes before you get to a blind corner where you are turning if it’s a low traffic road. Oftentimes, if you aren’t aggressive enough, you will be honked at because you didn’t push your way through that left turn despite the oncoming traffic or if you are sitting at an intersection and let more than three or four vehicles go by without slowly nudging yourself into the oncoming traffic. Sometimes one of the cars in the oncoming traffic will flash their headlights at you, indicating that you are free to push your way through in front of them.

Did I mention U-turns? That’s one of the most nerve-wracking things. You can just U-turn anywhere, anytime. No one seems to mind as long as you don’t take your sweet time doing so. And there often isn’t much room to maneuver. I haven’t quite gotten the hang of it.

Did I mention the hawkers? They are standing on the road side, and they have to move back a little as you are coming down the road at them because they are in the road.

Did I mention that time in the parking lot at Eastern where there were cars within about six inches in front of me and behind me, with the guy in front of me unable to clear the curb?

Did I mention the accidents or road work?

Oh. And did I mention the oncoming car or motorcycle going the opposite direction of the rest of the one way traffic? Yes. This happens more frequently than you might imagine. Randomly, you see a vehicle coming your way in what should otherwise be a “one way” part of a divided roadway.

Driving here really sucks, sometimes. Mainly when there’s a lot of traffic.

Although I have to say, in a certain sense, I will miss it when we are gone. There’s something truly liberating about a “no rules” kind of mentality when it comes to driving. Although it really isn’t “no rules” here. It’s more of a “we have a number of general rules here, and you can only learn most of them by experience.”

In the U.S., the general rule I follow is of the utmost courtesy. That kind of courtesy here will get you in an accident in no time flat. Not to mention the number of drivers you will cause to become very frustrated very quickly by your inability to learn to drive.

The general rule I have been learning to follow here is that of a less genteel courtesy, but a simple courtesy nonetheless. Always keep the vehicle in motion. Go when you can go. Stop when you need to stop. Season liberally with horn. And use your mirrors. A lot. There are cars, motorbikes, people everywhere.